The Father's Mother's Day Gift.

Mother's Day, the day that mothers get doted on, recognized, appreciated, and spot-lighted. Children say the sweetest things, do all the chores, and recognize all the sacrifices moms make. Unfortunately, I found myself having to steer the boat of "recognize me, honor me, celebrate me," and I found myself very frustrated and hurt. I knew this wasn't right but I knew this wasn't anyone's fault but my own. It's not even their fault for being princesses that don't know how to celebrate others because I do it so naturally they never have to. The problem was nowhere but in myself.  You know what though? That's my favorite type of problem. I know that my Daddy God will tell me the secrets of heaven and make me more like Him. During worship at church this frustrated and confused Mother's Day morning, I turned my eyes off myself and focused on the Lion of Judah. Let me tell you what I learned about myself when I turned my eyes off of me:

He is the Lion, the King of all kings, and I am a warrior princess, equipped to take enemy schemes and turn them into Kingdom victories. What a powerful place for a mama to stand! And, I'm not just raising other independent warrior princess lionesses; I am raising warrior princess lionesses to work as a unified force, in a pride, for the glory of the Lion King. Mmmmmmm. So good! Such a parenting strategy shift! What a nice gift; better than the Melting Pot's Brie and Bacon Fondue (which is saying something)! Thank you husband, for not cringing at the price tag of that Mother's Day gift. 

But that wasn't all He wanted to give me. He also showed me that I had been looking for accolades, recognition, and the gift of being known, from my kids. How frustrating is THAT?! What kid can actually recognize the gift of their mother until they themselves are a parent?! No forced art project from school will ever touch that place in my heart--and it shouldn't! The Father was offering for me to get my recognition, accolades, and known-ness as a mother, from Him rather than my kids. What a divine shift! It takes the frustration off my heart and the pressure off my kids and husband. I'm not even mad right now that instead of diamonds and bubble baths, I have a sink full of dirty dishes and a couple extra pounds from the fondue splurge. 

Mom's, that invitation is to you as well. Go have a quiet moment (even if it's with headphones at the kitchen sink full of dishes), and ask Father God what He wants to say about you as a Mother. I promise it's only kindness, adoration, and hope He wants to bring to this conversation. Be brave. Ask Him. Then go worship Him through your mothering! 

China on my heart

I woke up from an enchanting dream this morning. Chuck and I were taking our new Asian baby boy through the Wal Mart parking lot on a toy motorcycle. He was so sweet and funny, and we were enjoying his silly faces. Please note, at this point, I have no intention, nor desire to adopt. I wish I did, but I just don't. When I told my friend Nicki about my dream, she mentioned that her husband's first grade class was praying for China today.

At that, I felt an urgency to pray for China. And I shared that urgency with the girls. I asked them to join me in seeking God's face for how to pray for China. We put on some worship music, got out our favorite pillows, and asked Jesus to show us what he wanted to show us about China. We utilized a new tool we learned about, called soaking, and lay there individually waiting for what God wanted to show us. Sometimes He shows us pictures, sometimes, He tells us secrets, and today, He did both.

Rebekah shared that she saw a maze, with fire all around. There was only one way through the maze, and it was dangerous, but the reward at the end, was gold and silver and riches! Maddy shared that she saw Chinese families having church in their houses, and the bad cops were being defeated by good cops! Izzy said that God had presents for us, and those presents were all of God's power in us. I saw a map of China, but not an aerial view. I saw fingers stirring the atmosphere above China, then an open Bible rising from the soil. From the sky, a fiery meteor filled with jewels and gems began to fall.

I wonder if disaster is headed China's way. I know this, though: God is stirring the spiritual atmosphere of China.  Whatever disaster comes, it brings beauty and healing with it. Hardened things must be broken in order to be renewed. I pray for the Christians in China. That when disaster strikes, they will rise up to be Christ in a dark time--in very practical ways. And I pray for China's government. That the "bad cops" would be overtaken by the "good cops." 

And did I mention? I'm crazy giddy that my children are encountering Jesus! The secrets that He's telling them are straight from the Bible! All I can say about that, is "Yay God! Do it some more!"



Let the Lion Roar

I've been reading through the minor prophets in my Bible lately. My Bible College days are far behind me now, and it's hard to remember why they were called the minor prophets,as their message is not minor! The prophesies in them are silver-tongued. They are concise and cut to the core of the issue. I want to be that way! Being silver-tongued is actually something that was prophesied over me once, but for those who know me, concise and cutting to the core is not my specialty, but it's something I believe God wants to do in me. I pray that this post would be anointed, would speak to your heart in a way that I cannot-that only the Holy Spirit can.

I'm reading in Amos right now. It was particularly cutting this morning. I wanted to use this post as a call of repentance to the church. If you have asked Jesus to save you from the consequences of your sin, you are part of this; part of the church. Amos 2:11-12 God says that He raised up prophets and Nazirites, but we gave wine to the Nazirites and commanded the prophet saying "Do not prophesy!". Ouch! The church in America (with some exceptions of course) has told the prophet to stop prophesying because his message is uncomfortable. Let the prophet fear God rather than men. Amos 3:7 says that God does NOTHING without revealing it to His prophets. The prophet is a roaring lion! He speaks forth God's word, His heart, His purposes.We would be far less surprised when good things happen, when bad things happen, if we were allowing the prophets to speak. Repent, on behalf of the church, for quieting the roaring lion, telling God we didn't want to hear His voice. No longer do we want to let lies lead us astray. We weren't meant to be comfortable! Amos 2:4 tells us that the lies we believe came from the generations before us. Let it stop here!

Now, regarding the Nazirite: A Nazirite was a person that was set aside from birth to live a life of devotion to God. How often do we discourage the Nazirites in our lives by persuading them to worldliness?! By mocking the ways in which they are different?! Our strengths are not our own, but God's. It is Him alone that is our source of strength and boldness.

Lord, prepare the way for your prophets to roar, and your Nazirites to be a true light!

Free indeed!

I've been a little hush-hush (in the blogging world anyway) about my health journey. But today is my unveiling! Today I finished a 60 day on-line, Bible Study, weight-loss course, called Setting Captives Free. They have several courses relating to freedom from eating, pornography, drugs and alcohol, sexual sin, etc. Here's the testimony I shared on my last lesson:

"I had been on a diet for the better part of 6 years. Most recently, I was on a 1400 calorie diet, burning 400 calories/day through exercise, and could not lose weight. If I did lose weight, I would just yo-yo between a 10 pound range (gaining and losing for over 3 years). I would do well on my diet for a short time, just looking forward to my "cheat day." On my cheat day, I would eat whatever I wanted for the whole day long. One cheat day was never enough. One day, I become so frustrated with this cycle and the lack of results that I told the Lord I was finished. I knew that if I would give it to Him, it would be fine. Why didn't I realize this years ago?! Not much later, I found Setting Captives Free. It was an answer to prayer. I realized that everytime I went to food when bored, excited, worried, frustrated, socializing, etc, rather than to God, I was putting food before God. I was letting food be my god and I was practicing idolatry. Even on a diet, food was my god because I was always thinking about it, seeking salvation through a diet. No wonder I couldn't lose weight. God had left me to my own devices. I see now, that my lack of weight-loss before, was God's grace to lead me to Setting Captives Free. I have found FREEDOM! I am free at last! Food does not guide my life anymore! I don't have to buy diet food or look for diet meals at a restaurant, and there's no need for a cheat day. I just enjoy what God has given me (and yes, usually it's not a salad). I have lost 23 pounds! But mostly, I have found a deeper, closer walk with God! I will never diet again! I don't need a cheat day anymore! I have found satisfaction in Him (and lost the weight to confirm it's effectiveness!)!"

So, I am currently the lightest I have ever been in my adult life. At my heaviest, I weighed 250 pounds. While pregnant with Rebekah (7 years ago), I had gestational diabetes. Never wanting to deal with that again (and vomiting several times a day due to pregnancy hormones), I lost some weight. For the last 4 years, I was stuck between 210 and 220. When I stared Setting Captives Free, I weighed 222 pounds. Today, I weigh 199 pounds. I wish I had before and after pictures, but I don't. I'm sure if I really wanted, I could conjure some up. I want all the glory to go to God though. For the first time in my life, I'm not worried about it. Now all I need the scale for is a barometer of my obedience to God, to keep me accountable to if God is my God, or if food is my god. I have never enjoyed my relationship with God more than I do now!

Next step, I've signed up for the Mentor Course to become a mentor for Setting Captives Free. Click here if interested in the program for yourself. There's an option to add a friend to be your accountability partner. If you'd like, you can add my address (mombeem@yahoo.com).

Compared to Whom?

We often spend so much time comparing ourselves to others that we forget to measure ourselves up to Christ. When I look at others, I can pretend that I am righteous. When I compare myself to Christ, I know that I’m not saved by my good works, I am saved by HIM!

There have been times that I have been proud and self-righteous in so many areas. Not because I’m all that, maybe because I forget to realize that Jesus is my righteousness. When working with abusive parents, it’s easy for me to believe that I’m a great mother—doing everything right. In the past year, my circumstance has changed. I’ve been spending more time with parents that are “good parents”. Then I start the comparing game. But, DANG IT, they’re not who I’m supposed to comparing myself to either. It is CHRIST that I need to compare myself to. NO ONE ELSE. It’s about Him, not about me! I want to parent my children as Jesus would. Not so that God will love me more, be impressed with me, make my children successful. But to bring Him honor, glorify Him. And to teach my kids to do the same.

Do I compare myself to the "bad parents"? NO!

Do I compare myself to the "good parents"? NO!

Do I compare myself to Christ? Yes, please.

Recently, it's come to my attention that I haven't been speaking to and treating my children as Christ would treat them. I've had more days than not, of just putting up with them, being short, and annoyed by them. I've spoken to them in ways that I would NEVER allow them to speak to me, or others to speak to them. I'm asking for heavenly help to soften my heart toward them. There's a cliche that says that "knowing is half the battle." I believe it's more than half--it's probably MOST of the battle!