I blew it this morning. I lost my
cool with my kids this morning. I lost it bigger than usual. I woke up early
for my alone time with Jesus and asked for His help in strategizing our
morning. But as soon as I woke the kids up, I could feel myself building in
irritation. I can see it coming when I give them short, one-word answers, avoid
eye contact, and tell them to do things for themselves when they ask for help.
They were behind in getting ready, so when they’d usually be leaving for
school, we were scrambling to get to family devotion time—just to eek it in.
But rather than being attentive and engaged, they were distractible and distracting. When it
came time to pray for them and their day, I offered a prayer of frustration and
thanks. “Thank you Father, that you love these girls just the same every day.
My frustration with them doesn’t indicate a frustration of Yours. Be with them
Jesus and let you r love be known to them.” I tersely told them to get going to
school, but Middle girl couldn’t find her coat. Apparently, that was the straw
that broke my allotted grace. I am not proud to say that I was yelling at my
sweet gifts, like they had killed my dog, over a coat. The older two found the
coat, tears streaming, and left for school. The youngest one went to take a
bath, saying no thanks to my offer for a hug. Now that’s when it REALLY hit.
She never refuses a hug. Trying every psycho-babble trick I knew for calming
down, trying to pray and repent, crying my face off, texting my husband, I
realized this morning wasn’t really about my kids and their inadequacies, or
even my inadequacies, it was about a battle being waged in the spirit realm.
What really tipped me off, was that I couldn’t even problem solve or reason
with myself. I even believed for a moment, that my children would be better off
if I’d just wake them up in the morning and have them get themselves ready for
school, while I could just go back to bed. I recognized that these were not my
ideas, but the ideas of a dark enemy. But in my inner chaos, I couldn’t think of how
to form a battle plan. And to top it off, I wasn’t really interested in talking
to Jesus, because I felt so ashamed of myself (isn’t that the most ridiculous thing
you’ve ever heard?!). I called a dear
friend, knowing that she could help me sort my thoughts out and help me get set
on the right track again. She listened while I spewed. She asked helpful
questions that led me in sorting my thoughts. She encouraged me, reminding me
of my strengths as a mother, as a child of Father God. Then she prayed for me.
In her prayer, she got a picture. The picture was that this battle was like a
video game, and when I beat this level, there’s going to be a new level. I’m
going to win a new power to help me with the new levels. She exhorted me to ask
Holy Spirit for strategies for this level, and to ask what that special reward
was for beating this level.
After hanging up, I grabbed my
prayer journal, having a course set before me, I wrote out what Holy Spirit was
telling me about this video game. I write this for two reasons: 1. I want to
remember what this battle looked like and what the victory will look like. 2. I
wonder how many other moms need to hear this today.
- Hero character: Mom
- Setting: Our home
- Objectives:
- Get all kids to school with lunch, homework, fed and feeling secure, empowered, and Spirit-filled.
- Obstacles:
- Dog likes to run (and never turns down a snuggle from a distracted daughter.
- Kids are distractible—VERY distractible.
- Enemy Snake wants to choke as much life, joy, and abudnace out of the morning. He seeks to separate the family (divide) and have the kids sent to school angry, lonely, and already having failed.
- Complete Objectives to receive authority and a sword of the Spirit. This sword is required for access to future missions. You are allowed unlimited attempts to pass this level, but BEWARE: The longer it takes to complete this mission, the more damage the children take and the more relationships will suffer.
- Strategies
- Work as a team
- Share objectives with family
- Battle as a unified front.
- BEGIN the morning with worship and devotionals, THEN get ready for school.
- Watch for these red flags:
- Minimized eye contact
- Not wanting to hear stories or concerns.
- Not wanting to be helpful
- To counter red-flags:
- Remember the TRUE objective is send out children overflowing with love to the community we’ve been set in!
- Give a hug
- Stop, listen, and giggle.
I know that this revelation isn’t going to make our mornings
run smoothly. My kids aren’t going to be able to stay on task any better than
they do without my revelation. What changes, though, is who I recognize the
enemy as and what he’s trying to steal. The ultimate goal is to bring up little
people who really do look like Jesus.
